Work all day today; university, drama, George Bernard Shaw until one, then a five minute lunchbreak and a bus up to Deansgate to sell tea, coffee and dishwasher safe ceramics all afternoon.
It's been hectic.
The last few days have, actually. Up essaying for the past few nights, I finally got both of them in on Tuesday and Thursday. Did it feel good? Yes and no. The second one particualarly not.
I've not really felt I've had a lot of time recently to attend to loads of important stuff. I will finish being on the leadership committee at the Christian Union within a couple of weeks. Not sure how I feel about that; I'm ready to pass on my role to someone else, and I need more time to work on my dissertation etc. I just haven't really thought about it yet. And it's gonna happen soon.
Am reading Martin Amis' 'Money' at the moment. Not sure what I think about that, either, but it's for a course on the history of contemporary cultural studies, Literary Theory/cultural political/social etc.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Tonight, as Tesco's microwave taglietele settles in my stomach and the effect of succesive cups of tea (tea, tea, tea, do you want some tea with your tea? monologue all day) wears off, I write an essay.
It is on Homi Bhabha and the concept of colonial revisionism and cultural critique and postcoloniality and modernity and difference and alterity within the self and Freud and Lacan and Derrida and Foucault, though not really Foucault, no, he doesn't really rate Foucault, I've noticed. Doesn't rate him at all, the big number 10, with his power and his genealogies. Doesn't rate him at all.
I'm tired.
Too tired, some would say.
It continues apace. Why are words suddenly so hard to come by? I reach for them, but they're not there. Not the ones I want anyway.
What's wrong with Jane Austen? Shakespeare? Why, why WHY Homi K. Bhabha?
Why?
I ask. No-one answers.
(silence) END
Curtain closes.
It is on Homi Bhabha and the concept of colonial revisionism and cultural critique and postcoloniality and modernity and difference and alterity within the self and Freud and Lacan and Derrida and Foucault, though not really Foucault, no, he doesn't really rate Foucault, I've noticed. Doesn't rate him at all, the big number 10, with his power and his genealogies. Doesn't rate him at all.
I'm tired.
Too tired, some would say.
It continues apace. Why are words suddenly so hard to come by? I reach for them, but they're not there. Not the ones I want anyway.
What's wrong with Jane Austen? Shakespeare? Why, why WHY Homi K. Bhabha?
Why?
I ask. No-one answers.
(silence) END
Curtain closes.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Writing eh? It's a funny business. Well not always.
At the moment I'm still stuck with the mental-block imposed on me by two essays which are to be submitted next Tuesday and Wednesday respectively. Both are interesting topics, both are quite abstract and challenging, and both require a lot more work before they're going to be properly finished.
I have a somewhat eccentric method of writing essays; I tend to favour leaving it to the last possible minute (well almost, I guess in this case that would be at 3:29 on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon), making it as difficult for myself as I can by not doing adequete research until the said last minute, and then fretting and worrying over the whole thing until my hands are too tired to write. I then tend to write the first nonsense that comes into my head and hope for the 'best'.
When will I learn? Both in relation to essay writing, and more generally!
At the moment I'm still stuck with the mental-block imposed on me by two essays which are to be submitted next Tuesday and Wednesday respectively. Both are interesting topics, both are quite abstract and challenging, and both require a lot more work before they're going to be properly finished.
I have a somewhat eccentric method of writing essays; I tend to favour leaving it to the last possible minute (well almost, I guess in this case that would be at 3:29 on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon), making it as difficult for myself as I can by not doing adequete research until the said last minute, and then fretting and worrying over the whole thing until my hands are too tired to write. I then tend to write the first nonsense that comes into my head and hope for the 'best'.
When will I learn? Both in relation to essay writing, and more generally!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
I'm under pressure this week from a relatively heavy (course)work-load, which isn't helped by the ongoing situation at my part time job; one of the shop assistants has left leaving me in a difficult position, being asked to do overtime etc. I find it very difficult to say 'no' if I feel I'll be letting someone down, even when I know it's in my best interests to spend as much time as I possibly can on my University work this year, so I can see that might present me with some problems over the next few weeks until someone else is hired.
Today I was at work from 12-4, which meant leaving the house at 11:30. I had planned to at least spend some time in the library before I started work, but I slept in and woke up feeling quite unwell, headachey etc. I managed to get myself out of bed and out on time for, but only just, and without taking any lunch with me which meant I didn't get to eat until 4pm. I didn't make it to the library until after work, and as I found when I checked over my library account, I've already taken out the maximum number of books (10) and have to take some back before I can take any more out. This is quite inconvenient for essays and such, as a number of the books that I've taken out are long term loans for my dissertation which I don't want to return only to find that they're not there anymore when I've finished my essays.
That isn't the worst of it. At the moment I'm becoming increasingly worried that I'm underperforming in my degree's final year, and that my lack of focus in the last term or so is beginning to cost me as I try to write these essays. The response to my last piece of work, done in November was quite mixed, and although I don't know the mark yet, I don't think it's likely to be as high as I'd hoped for. The two essays I'm working on at the moment have been quite a struggle so far. Part of the problem is that I haven't had access to the library over Christmas, and I was tardy in getting my research done before the end of term. Not putting the time in then is costing me now, but there's nothing I can do about that now.
I suppose it's more a general sense that I'm not performing as well as I think I can, and that I need to work harder over this term and into the summer to ensure I do as well as possible. If last term wasn't my best, I have to try to get past that this year, and not take a defeatist attitude. That's something I've always done, really; if I feel I can't do something perfectly, or as near to it as possible, I have a tendency not to even bother to make the most rudimentary effort. I really can't afford to do that now, and I have to put those kind of thoughts aside.
Today I was at work from 12-4, which meant leaving the house at 11:30. I had planned to at least spend some time in the library before I started work, but I slept in and woke up feeling quite unwell, headachey etc. I managed to get myself out of bed and out on time for, but only just, and without taking any lunch with me which meant I didn't get to eat until 4pm. I didn't make it to the library until after work, and as I found when I checked over my library account, I've already taken out the maximum number of books (10) and have to take some back before I can take any more out. This is quite inconvenient for essays and such, as a number of the books that I've taken out are long term loans for my dissertation which I don't want to return only to find that they're not there anymore when I've finished my essays.
That isn't the worst of it. At the moment I'm becoming increasingly worried that I'm underperforming in my degree's final year, and that my lack of focus in the last term or so is beginning to cost me as I try to write these essays. The response to my last piece of work, done in November was quite mixed, and although I don't know the mark yet, I don't think it's likely to be as high as I'd hoped for. The two essays I'm working on at the moment have been quite a struggle so far. Part of the problem is that I haven't had access to the library over Christmas, and I was tardy in getting my research done before the end of term. Not putting the time in then is costing me now, but there's nothing I can do about that now.
I suppose it's more a general sense that I'm not performing as well as I think I can, and that I need to work harder over this term and into the summer to ensure I do as well as possible. If last term wasn't my best, I have to try to get past that this year, and not take a defeatist attitude. That's something I've always done, really; if I feel I can't do something perfectly, or as near to it as possible, I have a tendency not to even bother to make the most rudimentary effort. I really can't afford to do that now, and I have to put those kind of thoughts aside.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
This morning I was again thinking about unity - and reading the same passages in Philippians again. They're awesome! It's certainly got me thinking about what authentic Christian community should be (although that sounds like a statement riven with jargon) and how the small decisions that we make on a day-to-day basis can affect the people in our sphere of experience. I know that I need to work at a few friendships in the next few months, certainly. There's a few people that I really haven't made the time for over the past few months, and I regret that, in a way, although it hasn't felt like a conscious choice; at times it's been one of necessity as I've been (or have felt I've been) so busy. I'm not naturally especially active and I tend to spend a lot of time thinking and reflecting on things, so to feel like I'm 'on the go' all the time is quite stressful for me, and I need to maybe learn a few new ways to cope with that.
I'm researching an essay on Homi K. Bhabha at the moment. My question is to be on his theory of the 'ambivalent temporality of modernity' and how this can provide a platform for a (crucially) resistant cultural critique. I've looked at an extract from his book 'the location of culture' and this afternoon I was in the library to take out the whole thing. Hopefully reading in a little more depth over the subject should help out a bit.
I find what he says really interesting. Essentially he seems to posit simple binary divisions like black/white, East/West, inside/outside, as providing an inadequete conceptual framework for any attempt to address the problem of the representation of the 'Other' within culture. He seems to be asking the question of how a simple process of reversal can counter the implicit injustices of colonialism, and advocates a very different understanding of the concept through a 'temporal' rather than 'spatial' understanding.
I need to get on with this work, as I have two 3000 word essays to hand in immediately after the Christmas vacation, on top of my dissertation work.
I'm researching an essay on Homi K. Bhabha at the moment. My question is to be on his theory of the 'ambivalent temporality of modernity' and how this can provide a platform for a (crucially) resistant cultural critique. I've looked at an extract from his book 'the location of culture' and this afternoon I was in the library to take out the whole thing. Hopefully reading in a little more depth over the subject should help out a bit.
I find what he says really interesting. Essentially he seems to posit simple binary divisions like black/white, East/West, inside/outside, as providing an inadequete conceptual framework for any attempt to address the problem of the representation of the 'Other' within culture. He seems to be asking the question of how a simple process of reversal can counter the implicit injustices of colonialism, and advocates a very different understanding of the concept through a 'temporal' rather than 'spatial' understanding.
I need to get on with this work, as I have two 3000 word essays to hand in immediately after the Christmas vacation, on top of my dissertation work.
I've been looking at different parts of Philippians today, in a couple of different translations. I'm hoping to start learning basic New Testament Greek at some point in the new year which I'm really up for at the moment. I'm aware ancient Greek isn't exactly the easiest language to 'pick up', as it were, but am willing to give it a shot!
The two passages that have stood out so far have been in chapter 2, verses 1-4 which the NIV has thus:
Just reading that helps me to have a clearer picture of what Christian love is, or can and should be. People often talk about 'service or a servant-heart', but reading that passage reminds me what it might look like in practice. We aren't just to treat a select group of good friends with love and compassion and care (words that, even as I write them, seem so stripped of meaning and divorced from the concept that they indicate) as Jesus says in Matthew 5:46 and Luke 6:32-33 (both of which state something very simillar), but to act towards all people that we come into contact with with love and generosity.
Christian unity, human unity, are nice concepts that can be neatly packaged, but putting them into practice is what really counts. I've always kinda felt that that works best on whatever level you find yourself at; it isn't just about having some kind of massive 'ministry', but doing something simple to make someone else's life even slightly better. I guess it's about being aware of the small things, as well as the big; it's no good helping out at a local mission and then coming home and treating your family or whoever you live with badly; it's no good being impeccably polite to people at a Missions Week event and then being dismissive of that coursemate you'd rather not spend time with today.
The two passages that have stood out so far have been in chapter 2, verses 1-4 which the NIV has thus:
"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and in purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Just reading that helps me to have a clearer picture of what Christian love is, or can and should be. People often talk about 'service or a servant-heart', but reading that passage reminds me what it might look like in practice. We aren't just to treat a select group of good friends with love and compassion and care (words that, even as I write them, seem so stripped of meaning and divorced from the concept that they indicate) as Jesus says in Matthew 5:46 and Luke 6:32-33 (both of which state something very simillar), but to act towards all people that we come into contact with with love and generosity.
Christian unity, human unity, are nice concepts that can be neatly packaged, but putting them into practice is what really counts. I've always kinda felt that that works best on whatever level you find yourself at; it isn't just about having some kind of massive 'ministry', but doing something simple to make someone else's life even slightly better. I guess it's about being aware of the small things, as well as the big; it's no good helping out at a local mission and then coming home and treating your family or whoever you live with badly; it's no good being impeccably polite to people at a Missions Week event and then being dismissive of that coursemate you'd rather not spend time with today.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
It's been quite a while since I last posted on here. I've been busy, too busy I suppose, to write anything of consequence.
It's third-year university stuff-essays, deadlines, dissertation. Work, academic and Whittard, has been hectic and time-consuming. My work with the University Christian Union also takes up a lot of time, leaving me with very little room in my week for posting here.
It's now cold, often wet and late-autumnal here; Manchester has a fairly mild climate, being near the sea etc but it does feel like this month has been really cold.
Tomorrow it's work, Whittard from 12-5, then home to do some dissertation work, hopefully. The shop may be busy or deathly dull, it's hard to say at the moment. In the run up to Christmas it will be late opening and the bulk of our sales take place then, but at the same time it isn't a massive shop and so it never really gets terrifically busy on weekdays.
I'm tired and worn out, and it doesn't look like easing until I have a day off on Friday, which should allow some time for academic work. I'm still working on my dissertation essay, which should be on 'Modernism and the City of London-1890-1930'.
It's third-year university stuff-essays, deadlines, dissertation. Work, academic and Whittard, has been hectic and time-consuming. My work with the University Christian Union also takes up a lot of time, leaving me with very little room in my week for posting here.
It's now cold, often wet and late-autumnal here; Manchester has a fairly mild climate, being near the sea etc but it does feel like this month has been really cold.
Tomorrow it's work, Whittard from 12-5, then home to do some dissertation work, hopefully. The shop may be busy or deathly dull, it's hard to say at the moment. In the run up to Christmas it will be late opening and the bulk of our sales take place then, but at the same time it isn't a massive shop and so it never really gets terrifically busy on weekdays.
I'm tired and worn out, and it doesn't look like easing until I have a day off on Friday, which should allow some time for academic work. I'm still working on my dissertation essay, which should be on 'Modernism and the City of London-1890-1930'.
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