I'm under pressure this week from a relatively heavy (course)work-load, which isn't helped by the ongoing situation at my part time job; one of the shop assistants has left leaving me in a difficult position, being asked to do overtime etc. I find it very difficult to say 'no' if I feel I'll be letting someone down, even when I know it's in my best interests to spend as much time as I possibly can on my University work this year, so I can see that might present me with some problems over the next few weeks until someone else is hired.
Today I was at work from 12-4, which meant leaving the house at 11:30. I had planned to at least spend some time in the library before I started work, but I slept in and woke up feeling quite unwell, headachey etc. I managed to get myself out of bed and out on time for, but only just, and without taking any lunch with me which meant I didn't get to eat until 4pm. I didn't make it to the library until after work, and as I found when I checked over my library account, I've already taken out the maximum number of books (10) and have to take some back before I can take any more out. This is quite inconvenient for essays and such, as a number of the books that I've taken out are long term loans for my dissertation which I don't want to return only to find that they're not there anymore when I've finished my essays.

That isn't the worst of it. At the moment I'm becoming increasingly worried that I'm underperforming in my degree's final year, and that my lack of focus in the last term or so is beginning to cost me as I try to write these essays. The response to my last piece of work, done in November was quite mixed, and although I don't know the mark yet, I don't think it's likely to be as high as I'd hoped for. The two essays I'm working on at the moment have been quite a struggle so far. Part of the problem is that I haven't had access to the library over Christmas, and I was tardy in getting my research done before the end of term. Not putting the time in then is costing me now, but there's nothing I can do about that now.
I suppose it's more a general sense that I'm not performing as well as I think I can, and that I need to work harder over this term and into the summer to ensure I do as well as possible. If last term wasn't my best, I have to try to get past that this year, and not take a defeatist attitude. That's something I've always done, really; if I feel I can't do something perfectly, or as near to it as possible, I have a tendency not to even bother to make the most rudimentary effort. I really can't afford to do that now, and I have to put those kind of thoughts aside.